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7 REASONS
1. You’re the only one who thinks your English is bad.
The person you’re talking to was just focused on what you were going to say. Now, because of your apology, they’re focused on your English. You just handed them a microscope and pointed it at the one thing you didn’t want them to look at.
── SECTION A: REAL-LIFE DIALOGUE ──
Setting: A job interview. The candidate has just been invited to introduce herself.
Interviewer: So, tell me a little about your background and why you applied for this role.
Ana: Okay, sure. Um — sorry, my English is bad, so please be patient with me.
Interviewer: (pauses, shifts in seat) Oh — no, it’s okay, take your time. Just say whatever you can.
Ana: Thank you. So, I have five years of experience in marketing…
Interviewer: (nodding slowly, listening closely for mistakes now instead of content)
── SECTION B: THE BETTER PHRASE ──
- THE PHRASE: “Thanks — let me jump in.”
- WHY IT WORKS FOR YOU: You claim the floor instead of asking for it. Your brain gets the signal that you belong in this conversation, and your body follows — shoulders drop, breath slows, first sentence comes out cleaner. You stop apologizing for being the person everyone is waiting to hear from.
- WHY IT WORKS FOR THEM: The interviewer stays focused on your experience, not your English. You sound like someone who came prepared. They lean in to hear your story instead of bracing to be patient with you.
- THE REWRITE:
Interviewer: So, tell me a little about your background and why you applied for this role.
Ana: Thanks — let me jump in. I have five years of experience in marketing…
Interviewer: (leaning in, taking notes) Great, go on.
2. The people listening to you speak more than one language are impressed, not critical.
Most people who hear a non-native speaker are thinking, “I wish I could do that in another language.” You imagine they’re grading you. They’re not. They’re usually a little in awe. Your apology asks them to feel sorry for you when the honest reaction is respect.
── SECTION A: REAL-LIFE DIALOGUE ──
Setting: A networking event after an industry conference. Two contacts have been talking for a few minutes.
New contact: Wait — are you from Brazil originally? Your English is really good.
Luiza: Oh, thank you, but — sorry, my English is not that good. I still make a lot of mistakes.
New contact: (softens tone, smile turns a little more careful) No, really, you’re doing great!
Luiza: Thank you…
New contact: (now speaking slightly slower, choosing simpler words) So, um, what kind of work do you do exactly?
── SECTION B: THE BETTER PHRASE ──
- THE PHRASE: “English is my second language — and I love using it.”
- WHY IT WORKS FOR YOU: You accept the fact instead of rejecting it. Your brain stops treating the conversation like a test and starts treating it like an opportunity. The warmth in the phrase loosens your shoulders before you even finish saying it.
- WHY IT WORKS FOR THEM: They hear someone who is proud, not nervous. They don’t downshift their vocabulary or slow their speech. The conversation stays at your real level instead of the level they think you need.
- THE REWRITE:
New contact: Wait — are you from Brazil originally? Your English is really good.
Luiza: Thank you. English is my second language — and I love using it.
New contact: (genuine grin) That’s awesome. So what kind of work do you do exactly?
3. It makes the conversation about you instead of what you came to say.
You came to share an idea. A question. A point of view. The moment you apologize, the topic becomes your English. The meeting was about the project. The interview was about your experience. The dinner was about connecting. Now it’s about whether your English is okay. You just lost the floor before you stood on it.
── SECTION A: REAL-LIFE DIALOGUE ──
Setting: A team meeting. The project manager has just opened the floor for input on a proposal.
Project Manager: Okay, we’ve got about ten minutes left — any concerns with the timeline before we move forward?
Hiroshi: Actually, yes, I want to say something. Sorry, my English isn’t very good, so — um — let me try.
Teammate 1: (encouraging nod) Go ahead, take your time!
Teammate 2: Yeah, no pressure!
Hiroshi: Okay, so I think the second phase is too short because…
Project Manager: (eyes glancing at the clock now, three minutes already gone)
── SECTION B: THE BETTER PHRASE ──
- THE PHRASE: “Here’s what I want to say.”
- WHY IT WORKS FOR YOU: You name your point before you explain it, which forces your brain to focus on the content instead of your performance. You stop apologizing for taking up space and start using it. The phrase is short enough to say cleanly even when you’re nervous.
- WHY IT WORKS FOR THEM: The room gets oriented immediately — they know you have something real to contribute. No one is watching the clock. They’re listening for your point, which is exactly where you wanted their attention in the first place.
- THE REWRITE:
Project Manager: Okay, we’ve got about ten minutes left — any concerns with the timeline before we move forward?
Hiroshi: Here’s what I want to say. I think the second phase is too short because…
Project Manager: (nodding) Go on.
4. You’re asking permission to be taken seriously.
Every time you open with “sorry, my English is bad,” you’re asking the other person to decide whether you deserve a real conversation. You’re handing them the power to be patient with you — or not. Confident speakers don’t ask for that permission. They just start talking.
── SECTION A: REAL-LIFE DIALOGUE ──
Setting: A client call. The client has just asked a direct question about pricing.
Client: So, can you walk me through how you arrived at this number? I want to understand the breakdown.
Dmitri: Yes, of course. Um — sorry, my English is not so good, so if I say something unclear, please tell me.
Client: (neutral, waiting) Sure.
Dmitri: So the pricing is based on three main factors…
Client: (listening, but with a slight edge now — wondering if this call is going to be harder than expected)
── SECTION B: THE BETTER PHRASE ──
- THE PHRASE: “Let me tell you what I think.”
- WHY IT WORKS FOR YOU: You move from asking permission to claiming your seat at the table. You’re not defending your right to speak — you’re stepping into the role of someone with a point of view worth hearing. That mental shift changes your tone instantly, and your voice drops into a calmer, more grounded register.
- WHY IT WORKS FOR THEM: The client hears a professional, not a person worried about being understood. They relax. The call feels collaborative instead of cautious. You’ve set the tone as the expert in the room, which is exactly what they’re paying for.
- THE REWRITE:
Client: So, can you walk me through how you arrived at this number? I want to understand the breakdown.
Dmitri: Let me tell you what I think. The pricing is based on three main factors…
Client: (leaning back, settling in) Perfect, go ahead.
5. You’re training your brain to expect failure.
The words you say out loud shape the way your brain shows up. If you announce that your English is bad, your brain starts looking for evidence that you’re right. You’ll notice every stumble. Every word you forget becomes proof. You spoke your fear into the room, and now you have to speak around it.
── SECTION A: REAL-LIFE DIALOGUE ──
Setting: A conference presentation. The speaker has just stepped to the microphone during the Q&A.
Audience Member: Thanks for the talk — can you explain the second framework you mentioned in a bit more detail?
Priya: Yes, sure. Sorry, my English is bad when I have to explain something complicated, so bear with me.
(She pauses. Her mind goes blank on the word she wants. She stumbles. She hears herself stumble. She tells herself, “See? I knew it.” The next word comes harder. Then the next.)
Priya: The framework is — um — it’s a kind of, um… how do you say…
── SECTION B: THE BETTER PHRASE ──
- THE PHRASE: “Give me a second — I want to say this well.”
- WHY IT WORKS FOR YOU: You give yourself permission to pause without labeling the pause as a failure. Your brain gets a task (“say this well”) instead of a warning (“you’re about to mess up”). The thinking pause becomes a sign of care, not a sign of struggle.
- WHY IT WORKS FOR THEM: The audience reads the pause as thoughtfulness. They sit forward, curious about what you’ll say next. The room’s energy stays with you instead of shifting into that uncomfortable “are they going to be okay up there?” feeling.
- THE REWRITE:
Audience Member: Thanks for the talk — can you explain the second framework you mentioned in a bit more detail?
Priya: Give me a second — I want to say this well. (pauses, breathes) So the framework works in stages, where each stage builds on the one before it…
Audience Member: (nodding, taking notes)
6. You’re performing a version of yourself that isn’t real.
In your own language, you’re funny. You’re sharp. You have opinions. You don’t shrink. The “sorry, my English is bad” version of you is a character — a smaller, quieter, more apologetic person than who you actually are. Every time you perform that character, the real you gets further away.
── SECTION A: REAL-LIFE DIALOGUE ──
Setting: A work dinner. Colleagues are sharing stories and laughing. The group turns to her.
Colleague: Okay, your turn — what’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you on a work trip?
Mei: Oh, um… I have a story, but sorry, my English is not good enough to tell it properly. It’s better in Chinese.
Colleague: (polite smile) Oh, no worries, no worries!
(The group waits for a moment, then the conversation moves on. Mei smiles and nods. She had a funny, sharp story. In Chinese, everyone would have been laughing. Instead, she became quieter for the rest of the meal.)
── SECTION B: THE BETTER PHRASE ──
- THE PHRASE: “Okay, here we go.”
- WHY IT WORKS FOR YOU: You step fully into yourself before you start speaking. There’s no hedging, no softening, no warning label. Your brain goes from “can I do this in English?” to “here I am” — and that second version is the real you. The phrase is a small, clean commitment to show up as who you actually are.
- WHY IT WORKS FOR THEM: The group leans in. They’re ready to listen because you sound ready to speak. Your confidence sets the tone, and suddenly your English level doesn’t matter — your energy does. Even a rough telling of a funny story lands when the storyteller is present.
- THE REWRITE:
Colleague: Okay, your turn — what’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you on a work trip?
Mei: Okay, here we go. So, I was in Frankfurt, and the taxi driver thought I was someone else entirely…
Colleagues: (already laughing)
7. You don’t need to be perfect to be worth listening to.
This is the one underneath all the others. You’ve been carrying a quiet belief that your voice only counts when your English is flawless. It doesn’t work that way — not for you, not for anyone. The people who are listened to aren’t the people who speak perfectly. They’re the people who speak like what they’re saying matters. When you stop apologizing, you’re not pretending your English is perfect. You’re deciding that perfect was never the price of being heard.
── SECTION A: REAL-LIFE DIALOGUE ──
Setting: A parent-teacher conference. The teacher has just opened the meeting.
Teacher: Thanks so much for coming in today. How are things going at home?
Sofia: Thank you for meeting with me. Sorry — my English is bad, so if I don’t say it clearly, please tell me and I’ll try again.
Teacher: Of course, take your time.
Sofia: My daughter, she is — she has been crying before school, and I don’t know why, and I want to understand…
Teacher: (listening kindly, but now also listening for how clearly Sofia is speaking, slightly distracted from the actual concern)
── SECTION B: THE BETTER PHRASE ──
- THE PHRASE: “I want to say this in my own words.”
- WHY IT WORKS FOR YOU: You claim the right to be heard on your own terms. Your brain moves from “Am I going to sound okay?” to “This is mine to say.” You’re not promising perfection — you’re promising honesty. That’s a much lighter thing to carry into the conversation.
- WHY IT WORKS FOR THEM: The teacher hears a parent who is serious about her child and present in the moment. They give you their full attention. There’s no filter of “let me be extra patient” — just two adults talking about a kid they both care about.
- THE REWRITE:
Teacher: Thanks so much for coming in today. How are things going at home?
Sofia: Thank you for meeting with me. I want to say this in my own words. My daughter has been crying before school, and I don’t know why. I want to understand what’s happening.
Teacher: (sitting forward, fully present) Thank you for telling me. Let’s talk about it.
