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13 ALTERNATIVES [3 CATEGORIES]

CASUAL

1. “What’s up?”
   • Reasons
     • Creates an immediate casual, friendly atmosphere that puts people at ease
     • Invites open-ended responses about anything current or interesting in their life
     • Works perfectly for quick interactions when you don’t have time for lengthy conversations
   • When to use it
     • Running into a college friend at a coffee shop on campus
     • Texting a close friend when you see them online on a messaging app
2. “How’s it going?”
   • Reasons
     • Strikes a perfect balance between caring and casual, suitable for most relationships
     • Allows the other person to choose their level of detail in responding
     • Conveys genuine interest while maintaining comfortable social boundaries
   • When to use it
     • Greeting a neighbor while checking your mailbox
     • Starting a conversation with a coworker you’re friendly with in the break room
3. “How are things?”
   • Reasons
     • Opens the door for discussion about multiple aspects of someone’s life (work, family, etc.)
     • Shows you care about their overall situation, not just their immediate mood
     • Gives people permission to share what’s most important to them at the moment
   • When to use it
     • Catching up with a friend you haven’t seen in a few weeks at a casual gathering
     • Calling a family member for a regular check-in conversation
4. “What’s new?”
   • Reasons
     • Specifically invites the sharing of recent developments, updates, or exciting news
     • Shows active interest in their life progression and changes
     • Creates opportunities to celebrate achievements or offer support for challenges
   • When to use it
     • Meeting up with a friend for lunch after not seeing them for a month
     • Greeting a classmate at the beginning of a new semester
5. “How’ve you been?”
   • Reasons
     • Acknowledges the passage of time since your last interaction, showing thoughtfulness
     • Invites a more comprehensive update rather than just the current mood
     • Demonstrates that you remember and value your relationship with them
   • When to use it
     • Reuniting with an old friend at a high school reunion
     • Running into a former coworker at the grocery store after several months

MODERATELY CASUAL

1. “How are you holding up?”
   • Reasons
     • Shows awareness that they might be going through difficulties without being intrusive
     • Conveys empathy and emotional support, making it clear you care about their well-being
     • Invites honest responses about struggles while giving them permission to keep things light
   • When to use it
     • Checking in with a friend whose parent recently passed away
     • Speaking with a colleague who’s been dealing with a heavy workload and tight deadlines
2. “How’s your day treating you?”
   • Reasons
     • Personalizes the question by framing their day as an active experience
     • Invites storytelling about specific events or experiences from their day
     • Shows creativity in conversation while maintaining a genuine interest
   • When to use it
     • Greeting a regular customer at your small business with whom you’ve built rapport
     • Starting a conversation with someone you’re getting to know better on a casual date
3. “What’s happening in your world?”
   • Reasons
     • Acknowledges that each person has their own unique sphere of experiences
     • Invites comprehensive sharing about various life domains (work, relationships, hobbies)
     • Creates space for them to share what feels most significant to them
   • When to use it
     • Video calling a sibling who lives in another city for your monthly catch-up
     • Meeting with a friend who has a very different lifestyle or career from yours
4. “How are you feeling today?”
   • Reasons
     • Focuses specifically on emotional and mental well-being, showing emotional intelligence
     • Invites more honest, vulnerable responses than purely factual updates
     • Demonstrates that you value their inner experience, not just external circumstances
   • When to use it
     • Checking in with a friend who mentioned they were stressed about an upcoming job interview
     • Speaking with a family member who’s been going through a difficult time emotionally
5. “How’s life?”
   • Reasons
     • Encompasses the broadest possible scope, allowing them to share whatever feels important
     • Conveys that you’re interested in their overall life experience and satisfaction
     • Shows you value them as a whole person, not just their immediate circumstances
   • When to use it
     • Reconnecting with an old college roommate over drinks after a few years apart
     • Having a deeper conversation with someone you’ve moved from an acquaintance to a friend status with

MORE FORMAL

1. “How have you been lately?”
   • Reasons
     • Strikes a balance between formal politeness and genuine personal interest
     • Appropriate for professional relationships where you want to show a human connection
     • Invites updates about recent developments without being overly casual
   • When to use it
     • Greeting a client you work with regularly at the start of a business meeting
     • Speaking with your child’s teacher during a parent-teacher conference
2. “I hope you’re doing well?”
   • Reasons
     • Expresses genuine care and positive wishes before even hearing their response
     • Shows consideration and good intentions, setting a warm tone for interaction
     • Comes across as warm and genuine while maintaining professional boundaries
   • When to use it
     • Opening an email to a professional contact you haven’t communicated with in several months
     • Greeting someone at a networking event where you want to reconnect professionally
3. “How are things with you?”
   • Reasons
     • Adds a personal touch while maintaining appropriate formality
     • Shows interest in their specific situation and circumstances
     • Works well in semi-professional contexts where personal connection is valued
   • When to use it
     • Speaking with your boss during a brief encounter in the office hallway
     • Greeting a fellow parent at a school event, where you want to be friendly but maintain appropriate boundaries